Postcards From Middle Earth
by Lizbit
Summary: Paige, an ardent LOTR'S fan, unwittingly discovers that her linen cupboard is a portal to Middle Earth. Upon trading places with Eowyn, chaos ensues when she discovers things are not quite like what Tolkien wrote about in the books... Eomer believes her to be an evil witch, Wormtongue is forming a mad crush, and once she is banished from Edoras, how will she return home?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: If you are at all familiar with the film "Lost in Austen", you'll love this story. If not, no worries! It merely sets the stage. I'm very excited to be writing this fanfic - its been ages since I've travelled to Middle Earth. Please read and review!**

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**"Postcards From Middle Earth"**

**Chapter One**

_Alright, here we go_, Paige thought after she had collected her luggage, and left the "secure area" of the airport. The double door automatically swung open, and she followed a throng of people like a sheep. More people stood waiting for loved ones to come out; her eyes scanned over the sea of faces for her cousin Amanda, but she couldn't spot her anywhere.

Its true, she hadn't seen Amanda in like, ten years when they were both teenagers, but she felt confident that she'd recognize her if she saw her.

Finding a seat out of the way, she dragged her top-heavy suitcase over to a chair, and decided to wait. She had emailed Amanda three days before coming, confirming the flight and all that. It had unnerved her a bit that she never got a reply.

An hour crawled by. She looked in her pocket mirror and was horrified to discover that she'd been walking around with her blond hair all askew, and tired dark circles under her eyes.

It wasn't until the last passenger left and she was alone that she knew it was time to haul ass.

_She must've just forgotten_, Paige justified to herself. _And my email got lost. It probably accidentally went in the junk folder. Email always get lost in there. And who ever checks their junk folder? I know I don't..._

Stepping outside and breathing UK air for the first time, Paige was relieved to spot a classic black British taxi straight away.

"Can you take me to Hammersmith?" she said, approaching the driver.

He rolled his eyes and said, "You've got to go to the front of the cue, luv," pointing at the taxi in front of him.

"Oh, sorry. Thanks," Paige replied, feeling a bit like an idiot. A line of taxis, like a mile long, crammed in together. She passed them all, still dragging her suitcase. When at last she got to the front of the line, she asked again if the driver could take her to Hammersmith, wherever the hell that was...

He had a round, friendly, slightly pudgy face, but was clean-shaven and seemed well kept. "It'd be much cheaper for you to take the tube, luv. Hammersmith's way out of the way, if you catch my meaning..."

She glanced around. The tube entrance was all the fuck way down where she had just come from. That'd be real fun with a gigantoid suitcase... "I don't care. I'd rather get their quickly."

"Oh, the tube link is real fast..."

"Look, I appreciate you trying to save me a buck, or...pound, rather, but I just need to get there, alright? I'm so flipping tired, and my cousin was supposed to meet me, and I don't know where the hell she is, and I've never been here before, and I'm alone, and kinda freaking out, and..."

"Calm yourself, sweet'eart. You're in good 'ands. Hammersmith, was it?"

"Yes," Paige said, breathing out a sigh of relief. "87 Petley Road, Hammersmith."

"Righto," he said climbing out of the cab and taking her suitcase. He picked it up as though it were only packed with pillows and gently tossed it in. Paige climbed in after it, feeling both relieved and pampered. Cabbies in Chigago sure wouldn't step out of their taxi for love or money...

"Where you from, luv?" the cabbie asked when they were finally on their way.

"Chicago...in the States..."

"Ah. I've been to America. Been to Las Vegas, myself."

"Oh?"

"Aye. So, what brings to to England, then?"

"I'm visiting my cousin. She's English."

"Oh, aye. Is this your first trip to the UK, then?"

"Yes," Paige replied, looking out the window. Nevermind people driving on the wrong side of the road, they were also driving on the wrong side of the car! "My first trip anywhere," she said, half to herself.

She was heartily glad he had finally agreed to take her, as it provided the perfect opportunity to adjust to this unfamiliar city she suddenly found herself in. It was bizarre to her to suddenly be in a place where she had zero point of reference. She didn't recognize anything, from the buildings, landmarks, or even street signs. She felt lost in another world. She couldn't wait to see Amanda. A familiar face, amongst all this unfamiliarity.

At last they pulled up to a building and stopped. "Right. There you are, number sixty-seven Petley Road, Hammersmith. It's just that black door there."

"Oh, excellent. Thank you so much."

"Its a little dear, I'm afraid."

"Sorry?" Paige asked, feeling lost in both country and conversation.

"Dear, you know...expensive. That's 24 pounds."

_Fuuuuuck_... Paige thought as she dug into her wallet. _That ride was more than $50! I guess I asked for it, _she surmised, and handed him thirty. "I know you didn't want to take me. I really appreciate it, though. Keep the change."

The cabbie was a confirmed gentleman, and once again got out to help Paige with her luggage. He even shook her hand, and wished her a happy journey.

When the taxi left, that was it. She was on her own. She strode up to the black door and noticed it was not blessed with an intercom. The door itself was unlocked. An elevator? Noooo! Paige had a proper English welcome of having to lug her big, heavy suitcase up three flights of stairs.

"Amanda, if you're not home, I'm going to kill you..." she said, read-faced and sweating profusely as she hauled it up the last steps.

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**A/N: Ok, I know its short, but if I'm going to upload on a semi-routine basis, I think they'll have to be. If you heckle me for more, I just might have to oblige! Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry its taken me nearly a week to get this up. My father has been having heart problems, and my baby is teething, so life hasn't exactly been a bowl of cherries this week. Writing this gave me a nice little escape, though, so hopefully things will simmer down and I'll get Chapter 3 on here a lot sooner. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 2**

Paige at last stood in front of the door she had so longed to see. Without waiting, she knocked heartily on the door, and was pleased to almost immediately hear oncoming footsteps.

The door swung wide, but Paige was at once taken aback. In front of her was not her cousin Amanda, but quite possibly one of the most beautiful black women she had ever seen in the flesh.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked, seeing the bewildered look on Paige's face.

"Um..." Rechecking her slip of paper, Paige replied, "Yes, sorry. I sure hope I'm not lost... I'm looking for Amanda Price?"

"Yeah, this is Amanda's flat. I'm her roommate, Pirhana."

"Oh, thank God!" Paige exclaimed, allowing herself to breathe easily again. "I was so worried when she didn't meet me at the airport."

"Sorry?"

"She was supposed to meet me at the airport. I'm her cousin, Paige."

"Ohhhh..." Pirhana replied, but didn't look especially excited about this new bit of information.

Paige could clearly see that something was wrong. What was wrong with Amanda? Was she in an accident? Was she dead?!

"Oh, God... What is it? You can tell me. I can handle it. Is she dead? She's dead, isn't she? THAT'S why she never emailed me back! Oh my God..."

"No, no! Relax!" Pirhana commanded, putting her firm hand on Paige's shoulder. "Why don't you come in?"

_Holy crap, apartments in England are small_, she thought to herself as she followed Pirhana into a small sitting room. The couch was worn, but comfortable.

"So...NOT dead..." Paige said, now a lot calmer.

"Not dead, but...complicated. She's...kind of on holiday..."

"Oh, really?" Paige said, visibly disappointed. "When will she be back? I was supposed to stay with her."

"Hard to say," Pirhana said, vaguely. "She pops in from time to time, mostly when she needs toothpaste and tampons..."

"I thought you said she was on holiday. Doesn't she live here anymore?"

"Well, she sort of does," Pirhana replied. "But she met this bloke, you see? And now...she sort of stays with him."

"Oh!" Paige replied, relieved that things were at last becoming clearer. "So, can I have his address? Maybe I'll go visit her there."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Pirhana said with an emphatic shake of her head. Seeing the puzzled look on Paige's face she added, "You see, they live very differently. No cars...no tele..."

"Amish?" Paige asked, nodding her head.

"Something like that..." Pirhana replied. "But, look. Her room is available. You can still stay here while she's gone. I never know when she's going to pop in, so maybe you'll get lucky."

"Ok, if I won't be in the way..."

"Nah, not at all," Pirhana said, rising. "Are you going to be OK looking after yourself? I'm afraid I've got a date tonight..."

"No, go! I'll probably just curl up with my book or sleep. Feeling a bit jet-lagged."

"Alright," Pirhana replied, somewhat relieved the date wouldn't be ruined. Grabbing her purse she turned around, saying, "Oh, that's Amanda's room there, at the end of the hall."

"Great."

Smiling, Pirhana opened the door, but stopped mid-stride. "Oh, one more thing. If, by any chance, you find a door behind our shower...best just to leave it closed..."

_What the fuck is she talking about? _"Alright," she replied in the end, thinking it wiser to just look like she understood. _How the hell can there be a door BEHIND a shower?_

With that, Pirhana left and Paige was alone...in a strange apartment, in a strange country, where she didn't know anyone, and where they kept speaking in weird phrases she felt too stupid to understand. What the hell was she doing here?

Deciding that all her problems would be solved by a hot shower and going to bed with a book, she hauled her suitcase to the bedroom at the end of the hall.

_This bedroom is an absolute closet_, she thought as she crammed her suitcase into a tiny space in front of the overflowing wardrobe. There was only enough room for a double bed, one nightstand, and a dresser with a broken bottom drawer.

She found clean sheets in the hall linen cupboard, and set about changing the bed and exploring about the apartment.

Upon staring into the bathroom, she did not feel any dawning realization as to what Pirhana had been talking about. The bathroom held a baby blue bathtub and its three walls were tiled with matching forget-me-not tile. How on earth could there be a door behind one of the walls?

Perhaps she had misheard her? Or, perhaps it was some slang that she was just unfamiliar with? Maybe, "Don't go into the door behind the shower" meant, "Don't...take too long in the shower"?

It turns out, that's what she ultimately figured Pirhana meant, because without being 5 minutes into her unsatisfactory lukewarm shower, the water suddenly turned quite cold and she had to rinse her hair quickly and jump out.

The day had gone from exciting, to bad, to worse. Curling neath the covers, she had just read the first line of The Two Towers, her favourite of The Lord of the Rings books.

**_Aragorn sped up the hill. Every now and again he..._**

_Whatthefuckwasthat?!_

She distinctly heard the sound of someone knocking something over. She had even heard a little, "Ow!" after something had shattered.

Fighting the impulse to lock her door and call the police (Was it still 911 in England? She didn't know! Oh, God! And this was an EMERGENCY!) she climbed out of bed and opened the bedroom door a crack.

"Pirhana? Is that you?"

Silence answered her, and it was DAMN quiet!

Frantically, she looked around Amanda's room for anything that she might use as a weapon. She quickly settled on a pop-up umbrella and hoped for the best.

Holding it like a baseball bat, she crept out into the hall. She passed the linen closet which she was SURE she had closed, and stepped into the sitting room. There stood a young woman, her long golden hair falling like a waterfall down her back. She had apparently just come back from a renaissance fair, if her dress was any indicator.

"Oh, dear God," Paige said, closing her eyes. "Please tell me that I'm dreaming..."

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**A/N: Hope you're enjoying! Please review!**


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